Fathers Day 2023!

Arnold is such a good dad! He is always involved in the kids' lives and there for them.  

We decided to spend the day at Lake Lure beach. We thought it would be a fun thing to do with the kids, and a good place to remember dad. He took us to lake lure at least twice a year, every year since I was a baby. I love the mountains.. everything so beautiful there and it's so calm and restful. You can't beat the view! The weather was beautiful for us! It was hot, but not too bad. 

Last time we went up there Arnold had to carry in a big cooler-- we've since gotten one with wheels, which made it a whole lot easier this time! We packed stuff for a picnic lunch. 

I actually wore my bathing suit and went swimming in the lake! Most of you know that Im not a big swimmer ( I CAN, I just don't like to) and Im self conscious about wearing bathing suits, so it was a big deal for me. But lately I'm trying to do more, in honor of dad who used to give me the hardest time about never going swimming! And ill admit I did had FUN as soon as I got over the shockingly cold water, and the nastiness of the lake.. I did shower as soon as I walked in the door that evening, haha! 

Love my hubby! Glad we were able to pull off a fun day for him! 

Sisters!

The night before we went to the store and Rachel and I picked out floats to take with us. They even had a sale so we were lucky! She got one with flowers and I got one with pineapples. I took a sparkly pink float to the beach last year and loved it so I thought Id try it again. My arms were sore that night though after holding myself up in it all day!! I am not used to using those muscles and swimming, haha! 

I guess poor Arnold had to do some work on Fathers day! He blew up our floats for us! We are spoiled! :)

Brooke in her backwards cap and coke bottle.. haha

Caleb laid down and fell fast asleep... he took a nice nap... the girls were mean and took pictures of him asleep with his mouth wide open, but I didn't! 

Arnold put his hat over his face and decided to rest in the sun as well!

Brooke had bought a new outfit the past week and wanted to wear it.. and me to take a picture. She said the linen pants just felt "beachy" to her. That Girl loves to shop! 

I wore my dad bracelet which I've worn every day since my BFF Joanne got it for me! I'll admit the day was pretty tough now that dad is gone. I used to love spending the day with him and eating yummy food and letting him know how much we cared about him. Being in the mountains made me feel close to him, though. That was one of his favorite places to be, too. Rachel even remembered the funny jokes he used to pull on them, like telling them to watch out for the alligator in every body of water they were in.. even just regular swimming pools! We saw a few ducks that day also... dad had wooden ducks sitting on his shelves in his office at home. Little things here and there kept reminding me of him! I miss him so much, but I know he's having a blast in heaven! 

Rachel's 14-yr Interview & Birthday!

Shoe size- 7

Going into Grade: 9th (highschool!!)

Party theme this year: sharks
Gifts this year: clothes and makeup 

Favorite Color: red

Favorite Animal: cats/orcas

Favorite Food: shrimp

Favorite Drink: sweet tea

Favorite Snack- hot Cheetos

Favorite candy: twizzlers

Favorite Season: summer/fall

Favorite Holiday: Christmas

Favorite Restaurant: Shuckin Shack (too bad they closed!)

Favorite Fast Food- Chick Fila

Favorite Tv Show- The walking dead

Favorite Movie: The new Spiderman

Favorite Book- none (Breaks her mamas heart!)

Favorite Flower: lavender 

Favorite Thing to do: sleep.

 

Favorite Store: Ross

Favorite part of school: Science

Favorite Thing to Wear: Jackets 

Best Friend: Destiny, Shinbi, Hope, Maya, Cheyenne, Mackenzie, Kailey

What are you afraid of? bugs

What do you want to be when you grow up? A psychiatrist 

What do you want for Christmas this year? Money

Where do you want to go to college? Lenoir Rhyne 

Most excited about for high school? Football hames/marching band 

Rachel had a birthday dinner this year with some friends, her parents, grandparents, and sister. Unfortunately Caleb couldn't be there because he was at ROTC camp! We went to dinner at Red Lobster because her fave food in the whole world is shrimp!! 

She told me she liked sharks.. no idea why? LOL but she said she wanted something scary and I said um no! They only had kid looking stuff that I could find so we went with what we had! Haha.. the plates and balloon and table cloth all came from target. The cake was actually pretty cute with an ocean theme-- they had baby shark and we were going to switch it out with a "cooler" shark but didn't get around to it, so it was fine! The little sharks ended up being bath squirties and the waitress had mentioned her little daughter loved baby shark, so at the end of the evening I have her the toys for her daughter! Im glad someone could enjoy them! 

When we were standing outside after the party the string came loose from Rachel's arm and the balloon went floating away! :( Her friend got this picture.. and its called Samuel because in our family we always name stuff... don't ask why... lol.. but his name was Samuel the Shark! 

Sweet sisters!

So glad Grandma could make it, even if she hasn't been feeling the best!

We love our girl! Cannot believe she is 14!!

Rachel and some of her close friends that came to celebrate with her! 

One Whole Year

 Friday marks one year since the worst day of my life. I never thought I would get a phone call that day from my mom telling me that the paramedics were at their house doing CPR on dad. I remember standing in my driveway until Arnold came home from work to get me, and drove me over there. The whole way there I kept telling myself to have faith and that dad would be ok. When I got there we had to park far away since the firetruck and ambulance were in front of the house. I ran down the road and up to the guys standing at the ambulance. I told them I was the daughter and asked how dad was doing. I thought they would tell me they were working on him or getting ready to take him to the hospital. I never thought in a million years that the words out of his mouth would be "Im sorry for your loss." Those words felt like a sucker punch and to this day if I hear those words in my mind I am instantly transported back to that day and my stomach feels just the same-- like I was punched. 

Over the past year I have learned a whole lot about grief. I have been blessed to not have to experience a lot of big losses in my life thus far. My grandma who I was pretty close to died when I was 15 and that really hurt. But since then things have been pretty great... and Im sure I took having my parents around and closely for granted, although I didn't mean to. I remember joking with my dad just a few weeks before he passed.. he said he had read an article that stated since he had made it to 70, there was a great chance he would live a lot longer and we had plenty of time together. What a cruel joke then that he didn't even made it to his 71st birthday. I thought a lot about my parents getting older actually, in the past year or two. I would cry just imagining them gone from my life, and asked Arnold how I would ever go on while hurting so badly. After dad died I was sad, sure, but I was surprised how I ended up being so strong afterwards, especially the first few weeks. I was able to help mom plan a celebrating of life for dad, view his body and say one last goodbye at the funeral home, stand in the receiving line while dozens and dozens of people came by to hug me or offer their condolences. I think of him often but I never really broke down again after that one time. But this past week it's like something changed in me. I all of a sudden feel the finality of it all, and It set in that he's never coming back. He is not going to see my kids graduate. He's not going to see me reach all the goals I've made for myself. He's not going to be sitting in his recliner in the living room watching sports every time I go over to the house. I guess up until now it felt like he was on a business trip and it was sad he was gone but it wasn't forever. But now I actually feel the ache when I think about the fact that we'll never hug again, never share a joke through text, never go out to lunch at our favorite place. I think my mind was somehow protecting me this far, and I was unable to go to the deepest point of pain because I knew it would be too hard to handle.

Not everything after his loss has been a downer. Mom and I started going to a grief group at a church Arnold and I have been attending. It so happens it is run by my AWESOME KATIE!!! (2nd mama!!) and her husband Steve. We meet every Sunday from 2-4 and we talk to the others in the group, share our feelings, watch videos about how to deal with certain aspects of grief, and we have workbooks to do "homework" that week. I have really come to love and care for these people in my group. I listen to their stories and cry along with them, feel safe sharing about dad, and even though our class is over mid-April, I know a lot of us will keep in touch even after that fact. I have learned some really useful things in the class, and even if I didn't, it's still worth it to me going so I can support mom. Now all I do is worry about mom and her well-being. As much as I hurt, I can't imagine what she went through. Her and my dad were married almost 50 years. They were in love since they were so young. She's now living alone in that big house I grew up in, and thinking of her there and lonely just makes my heart ache. I have done everything I can to try and help her and make this past year easier. We have started going to eat lunch with her every Sunday afternoon. She helps me out by picking up the kids at school and gets her time with them. We try to take her places and involve her in things. All this happening has made me think even more about the future and what it'll be like when I lose her, and I've told her this. To be completely honest, I am terrified. I knew I'd lose my parents oneway, but never expected to lose dad so young, so now I am extra cautious about mom. I want to spend all the time with her I can and not take anything for granted.

There are things about dad I miss so much. I miss his cooking and his famous "crap in a pot." I miss sitting beside him in church on Christmas Eve during the candlelight service. I miss going on trips to lake lure every spring and fall. I miss texting him before Super Bowl and asking him which team I should pull for since I know he knows his stuff. I miss sharing all my achievements with him and making him proud, even as an adult. I miss joking around about who read more books that year, me or him. I miss him calling me Abigail (my realname). He's the only person I'd let call me that. He taught me so much growing up, to work hard, give generously, work at your marriage and don't give up easily. To treat everyone with respect even if they have less than you. To joke around and not always take life so seriously. I know not everyone grows up with a dad that is present and loving, and I know how incredibly blessed I am. Now that I don't have him anymore, I realize even more just how much I had in my life. 

So coming up on the one year anniversary of dad going to heaven-- I'd say we're doing ok. Things will never be the same, but we will have a new normal. Mom finally went through dad's things and decided what to keep and what to give away. Every time I go to their house I sneak away for a minute to sniff some of dad's cologne. I have one of dad's quilts at home now that I intend to keep forever. It was the one he had draped over him actually, the day he died. I also have one of his most-worn t-shirts in my closet. I am glad we have these things to remember him by. But I know the most important things aren't material, they are memories we can hold in our heart. I have been seeing dad a lot in my dreams lately. He is always just hanging around and he looks a bit younger. I welcome any dreams I get of him, it helps things feel just a tad bit more normal. To help me through the tough times I like to imagine him in Heaven with God, and know he has NO MORE PAIN!!! Before his back surgery he was suffering so badly. We went out to lunch just a week before his surgery and when he was ready to get up from the table and leave he apologized to me, that he was taking so long, and that it was hard for him to get up. That broke me. It is so hard to see the dad you grew up with, your hero, the man who played football and gold and mowed the yard and traveled to other countries and helped run a company... barely able to walk. In my selfish human nature I want him back here! Definitely! But I know that he is in the best possible place and because of my beliefs I know that I will see him again one day. I am so excited for that day. 

Life so far in 2023!

I finally got my new car!!!! Brooke is getting her license... she was supposed to already have it by now but she hasn't had her permit a whole year yet. Anyway, she is going to take my car... so I needed a new one. We have been looking for awhile. My dream car was always a Cadillac SUV but I didn't think I could really afford one. But one day online I saw an ad for one locally and though it was 2018 and had some miles on it it was SO nice and black which is the color I wanted... so I asked Arnold if we could go look at it and we ended up buying in that night! Having better credit scores now and putting a decent down payment on it made our payments pretty affordable! I am loving it so far! I didn't even know at first but there's perks like a sunroof, heated seats and steering wheel, backup camera, and they gave us a free month of SIRIUS radio which I'm loving because Ive been having my own personal Dave Matthews concerts every day on the way to work ;) 

I don't see how it's even possible but we just registered Rachel for high school!!!!! She will be headed to the same school as her brother and sister in the fall. They will all be together for one year, which I love!!! We went to a meeting/orientation the other night and Brooke showed Rachel and her friend around the School. Rachel has decided what classes she's going to be in and she is joining the marching band. I can't believe it is time for this!!! This fall is going to be very emotional for me! A freshman AND a senior!!

Grandpa turned 91!!!! This pic was actually from last year. Mom took him out to eat to a nice place on his birthday. 

I order cute, quirky seasonal shirts on Jane.com and this is my newest one! The shirt turned out a bit bluer than green than I had hoped but it's still cute! 

Arnold and I went to the movies to see Jesus Revolution!!! It was so good! It was based on a true story and I learned a lot. Several parts of it were very moving. Kelsey Grammar was in it (from Frasier- love him!) and the guy that plays Jesus in a current TV show. Id recommend the movie to everyone! 

Mom has been the greatest and has been picking up the kids for me throughout the week while we're waiting for Brooke to get her license. Sometimes they go and get treats.. they love going to the B&B to get tater wedges and ice cream! 

Caleb got his permit!!! He has been getting lots of driving practice in lately. 

On valentines day Arnold surprised me with pretty tulips! 

Back at the Super Bowl we were so excited because the Chiefs played!!! Most of you know but my dad loved that team-- he traveled a lot for work and did a lot of work in Kansas City. The team even sent us a big beautiful floral arrangement after he passed away. So of course we were rooting for them!! We let the kids have a little party at our house and decorated in their colors and got lots of food to eat, and watched the game. It was pretty close there at the end but they did it!!! I went to bed very happy!!!!

Arnold and I Celebrated our 17 year anniversary!!! 17 years is technically the year for furniture as the gift but Arnold said umm not this year! lol. We hope to go away on a cruise for our 20-year anniversary! He did surprise me with some Stephen Curtis Chapman tickets and we are going to the concert March 23!

My uncle sadly passed away on our anniversary. The funeral wasn't planned until a few weeks later. We went up to Asheville. It was nice seeing my family and my brother who I don't get to see that often. Since it was on a weekend Arnold and I decided to stay overnight and have an early Valentine's Day. We went to dinner at Carrabbas and a little local shopping and had a great time! 

Brooke had her last game of the season! She has loved getting to fly! Next month is tryouts and she is hoping so badly to make it on the varsity team.

Arnold has definitely gotten used to having a wife and 2 teen girls who love to shop! This was from a day of shopping at the mall.. he was a good sport ;) 

We found Brooke's prom dress!!!! No details yet, it'll be a surprise, but it is beautiful!!!! This year will be her first time attending a prom. I'm excited to see her all dressed up. 

I got to babysit my sweet Ensley one day when Joanne had plans! I of course read lot of books to her! ;)

Rachel made the honor roll last time they got report cards!!! She's done really well this year!! 

Arnold and the guys had a show at a new place... a sports bar in Morganton. It was a nice enough place I guess, but loud bars aren't really my jam!!! I don't even drink and I get too nervous in big crowds. But Arnold did great and I enjoyed watching. I got to hang out with his cousin Beth and her husband.. and before the show I went to dinner with my friend Chasity, and a good friend of hers named Ashley. We went to a BBQ place I'd never been to before. 

2022 in Review

1. What did you do in 2022 that you have never done before? Helped plan a funeral :(

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions?? Some of them. I surpassed greatly the number of books I wanted to read. I did not lose all the weight I wanted to. 


3. Did anyone close to you give birth in 2022? My sister in law had my nephew, Brave! And my bff Joanne had sweet little Ensley!


4. Did anyone close to you die in 2022? 
Yes... my dad.. and it was the hardest loss I've ever experienced :( Our dog Oreo passed away later that year as well. It was an emotional year. 

5. What states/countries did you visit this year? Just South Carolina to go to Charleston 



6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

Happiness, contentment, wisdom. 


7. What date from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Its a toss up between the day dad died, the day I went to see him at the funeral home and the day we held his funeral. All about Dad. 

8. What was your biggest struggle in 2022?

Learning to live without dad... learning to handle big grief. 
 

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury in 2022?
Thankfully nothing major! 


10. What was the best thing you bought this year?
Brooke's homecoming dress-- such a special night!! 

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Brooke got her permit on the first try! Caleb ranked up in ROTC. and Rachel brought up her grades and has done very well in 8th grade! 

12. Whose behavior disappointed you?
A few friends I really thought would show up to Dad's receiving/funeral and offer support did not. 

13. Where did most of your money go?
Aside from bills, to stuff for Brooke!! Her sweet 16 party and homecoming were big things this year! 

14. What did you get really really excited about this year?
Throwing Brooke a sweet 16 party :)

15. What song will always remind you of 2022?
"Black" by Pearl Jam 

16. Compared to this time last year, are you: much happier, much nicer or richer?
None of the above... but I do feel stronger in my faith and closer to God. 

17. What do you wish you had done more of? 
Spent more time w/ dad before he passed away. 

18. What do you wish you had done less of?
Worried... like usual!!

19. Did you fall in love in 2022?
More in love with Hubby ;) 

20. What was your favorite TV Program in 2022?

We love Abbott Elementary! 

21. What was the best book you read this year?

 Remarkably Bright Creatures 

22. What was your greatest musical discovery this past year?
Nothing new... loving the same ol stuff. 

23. What did you want and get?

To get a 3rd Christmas tree and do a whole new theme.. Arnold thinks I'm crazy!!!

24. What was the best movie you saw this year?
Lifemark!!! It was about adoption and I bawled like a baby! So good. 

25.What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

I turned 37... had a bday dinner at Dos Amigos with my family and close friends! 


26. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?

Taking more trips! 

27. How would you describe your personal fashion statement this year?
About the same as always... lots of flowery/patterned tops and jeans.. and TOMS, booties or sandals depending on the time of year! 

28. What kept you sane this year? 
Jesus, hubby, and friends!!

29. What celebrity did you fancy the most? 
I read Dave Grohl's book and I really liked learning about him 

30. Who did you miss this past year?
Obviously Dad!!!! I also miss seeing my brother and his family. 

31. Who were the best new people you met this year?

Baby Tom Tom and his family! 

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year:
It's corny but spend time with the people you love!!!! Tell them how much they mean to you! If you have an issue, clear it up! Life is too short and you never know how long you have. 

Christmas 2022!

 This was our family Christmas card this year. I went with a new company, because I had a Groupon. I ordered 40 cards and it was just the right amount. I hate how hardly anyone sends out cards anymore.. I love sending and getting mail!!! Oh well. I love how colorful the cards were and I used a pic from our beach trip in August :) 

We went to sooo many parades to watch Brooke and Caleb this year! But it was a lot of fun! Caleb was actually in FIVE.. that's insane. We had to get him better socks because he was getting blisters from marching so much in those stiff dress shoes. Can't wait until next year when Rachel will be in the marching band and we can watch her in the parades, too! 

Rachel had her 8th grade winter band concert! They did a really great job! We had heard her practicing her trumpet at home many nights and I had Christmas songs constantly stuck in my head, haha. I somehow convinced her to wear a necklace with her outfit that night, and she wore the Santa hat on her own! 

Brooke and I did some last minute Christmas shopping together! I think she is loving having a job and having her own money to spend. She picked out her boyfriend a gift while we were out. She also helped me pick out some things for Rachel. 

The night we went to see the Christmas lights like we do every year we came home and got into our cozy pjs! No we didn't match this year, but oh well. Rachels pjs came from the mall when she went on her Washington DC trip. My pj set actually came from Walmart! They are so soft and cute for the price! 

I love collecting ornaments and end up getting so many new ones every year, to commemorate occasions or just because cute ones were on clearance at the end of the season (haha) This year a lot of the ornaments had to do with dad. I got the ones I saw that had to do with heaven. Then I got a cardinal because of the saying that when you see one after a loved one dies it means a "God wink" or that everything ok. We dedicated a special spot on the tree this year to dad. We added the duck because he used to hunt and had duck statues in his office, and a stack of books because he loved to read. My friend Rosie surprised me with a sweet memorial ornament that I added to the tree later. 

Our girls Christmas gathering was a little different than normal this year-- because we stayed in... but it was all good because this year we had baby ENSLEY to hang out with! She is an honorary member of our group now ;) We hung out at Joannes, ate snack foods, and watched Bad Moms Christmas movie. We somehow ended up the night watching old rap videos on YouTube..... it was a strange night but so much fun! And jess finally got her Ensley snuggles! 

On Christmas Eve we had lunch with Arnold's parents like always. Arnold got a ham at work for Christmas so we heated it up and took it over. Arnold's sister didn't get to join us this year because she was sick. We ate and then opened presents and hung out awhile. It was COLD this year! 

We actually managed a nice family pic! And Arnold didn't have to set up the tripod and timer because his dad took the picture for us.. ha. 

That evening we went to moms church (my childhood church) for the Christmas Eve candlelight service. Mom was going to go with us, but it was just too cold for her to go out. We sat right near where I used to sit with mom, dad and Alex when I was a little girl. I would always sit beside dad and sing the Christmas hymns. It was a beautiful service and I started crying towards the end. 

I always love it when they light the candles and start singing Silent Night 

We stopped outside after the service very quickly (It was FREEZING!) and said hi and merry Christmas to dad. man, I miss him SO much! Christmas was not the same at all this year. And side note-- why does my son look like a grown MAN in this picture??!!! He got the army beanie from his grandparents :) 

Christmas morning we all slept in.. ahh the joys of having teens :) We surprised Caleb with the new Xbox this year(the digital version) He had been wanting it so badly! Unfortunately there are a few things I don't like... like it doesn't have as much storage as I thought and it overheats too quickly.. but I guess we'll get that figured out. 

Rachel didn't want a "big gift" this year so we got her clothes, art supplies and some gift cards for her games on her phone. 

I love the look on Brooke's face.. haha. These were some white boots she had been wanting. They make her SO tall. And they aren't really my style but she loves them. Some trends from a long time ago are making a serious comeback! 

What she really wanted this year was a vanity. Arnold set it up in the basement to hide it from her and we showed he as the last gift. Now she can get ready in peace in the morning and maybe she, Rachel and I won't fight over the bathroom as much! 

Christmas afternoon we went over to moms house to visit and give her gifts. My Grandpa was over visiting, too. He is turning 91 in March. We are so blessed to still have him around- I am so happy my kids have a great grandpa! 

One of the things we got mom was a photo calendar. It included a lot of pictures of the things we did this past year-- trips to the mens, picnics, the beach trip, etc and hopefully it brings her a smile every time she looks at it :) 

Christmas was different this year for sure... we could feel dad missing. But we still had a good time. Mom sat in dad's chair while we are on Christmas Eve. We remembered stories of him in the past and clung to those memories. The day after Christmas my brother and his family came into town for a few days and stayed with mom, and I know she loved that! She's only gotten to see her newest grand baby a few times so far!