Anyway, in the letter she said Joseph is doing good, in Kindergarten now. Has a good friend who hes always with, named Megan :) He is very curious and always asking questions (wonder where he got that from) and he recently lost his first two teeth! I just loved the pictures I got of him, Icant believe hes that big already (He turned 6 on November 1st) And everyone whos seen the pics says he really has my eyes :)
Most of you know the story, but if theres anyone whos reading who doesnt- heres the short verion:
I went off to Western Carolina Univerity when i graduated and was 18. I had always been a pretty "good girl" and had good grades and stuff, but I let loose when Iwent off to college, and was away from my parents. I started seeing a guy and we had a dinner and a LOT of drinks and I had what I thought was a one-night stand. Big regret-- but then again I dont really regret anything because everything in life happens for a reason and can teach you something. Anyway, we actually did go out a few more times after that night.. but he was the kind of guy you could just TELL he was a "player" and was after lots of girls. Dont know why I let him suck me in, I guess i just liked the attention.
On VALENTINES DAY of all days, he broke up with me. Saying I was too "young" for him.. I think i was freshman and he was a junior or senior. But that was a bunch of bull, I know he was just done with me and ready to throw me out. A week or so later I was really late, and one afternoon I was with my mom and remember feeling really tired and sick for no reason. SO on the way back up to WCU that night I got a pregnancy test at Walmart and went back to my dormroom, into the bathrooms (which were used by lots of girls-- so thankfully i had my privacy that night!) and after using the test it almost immediately showed up positive. Yeah, so imagine the sinking feeling I get in my stomach when I see that. I went and told my roomate Karen (she and I had become good friends) and she went with me to tell the guy, and of course he was ticked and denied it all. He stormed out of the building and wouldnt talk to me. Later he made me go to the school nurse and prove to him that I was pregnant. He also denied it was his. But later he tried to drag me off to an abortion clinic and get it taken care of. He said he had borrowed the money from his older brother to get it done. I was at such a low point then that I almost considered it. But only for a second. Basically after that I told him off and had nothing to do with him. Havent seen him since.
Went home for spring break, told my parents and of course they were disappointed. I moved back home and started attending CVCC.. where I got things together and made pretty good grades once again. Meanwhile my stomach was growing and I was running out of time. I really wanted to keep him, but knew deep down I couldnt provide anything for him. At the time there was no father, and I had no job, or anything. My parents werent about to help me. In 2003 my MOm had been diagnosed with breast cancer and it had been a crazy and stressful year for the whole family. My parents suggested I consider adoption. We went thru the same agency that i was adopted from when I was a baby. I got a social worker and she explained everything and we had meetings and she brought me lots of profiles of potential adoptive parents. It had their names, pics and lots of stuff about them but nothing "identifying." I was about to give up when I found a profile that caught my eye and I really fell in love with them. I decided to meet them, and the meeting went well and I was almost certain that day that that was what I was going to do.
So my due date was on Oct 29th, 2004.. and I went over a few days. On Halloween night I had gone to bed and woke up when my water had broken all over the bed. I went to the hospital, got an epidural, and had about 13 hrs of labor. Things werent progressing that good so the dr ended up pulling him out with the help of forceps. And at 1:30 Pm on Nov 1st, he was born. 9lbs 5 ozs and just as adorable as ever. The next day his parents came to visit at the hospital and meet him. You could just see the love in their eyes, I knew I had made the right decision. The next day they took him home. IT was hard to hand him over and see him go, but I knew it was for the best. I named him Nathan Tyler, and then his new parents named him Joseph. He has 2 different birth certificates, and we have what is called a semi-open adoption, where iget info and pics but never see him in person. But when he turns 18 and is legal he can decide if he wants to meet me or not. I really hope he does. I never met my biological parents and wonder every day about things, like what they look like, what their medical history is, if they had more children, etc.
So there you go.. my adoption story. Theres a lot more to it, but I could never fit it all into a blog! :)
Thank you for sharing your story, Abby! He's such a handsome boy :)
ReplyDeleteHe's gorgeous! What an amazing woman you are to make the decision to give him a better life than you were able to at the time!
ReplyDeleteHe is a cutie! Thanks for sharing! I commend you for doing what was best for your son, even though it was tough.
ReplyDeleteHe is so handsome! Thank you for sharing your story. As an adoptive mom myself, I know a day doesn't go by that his parents don't think of you and thank you for the gift you have given them.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I am also adopted from birth and I to wonder if my birth parent thinks about me and I wonder about my history. My adoption is sealed by the courts so we have to get a lawyer to get any information. Thank you for posting your story. http://countryrootscityliving.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI found you through Kelly's Korner. Thank you so much for sharing. I have two adopted babies Colt is almost 4 and Lilly just turned 2. I have so much respect for what you did (as well as what my babies first mom's did). You are a true hero. A true mother puts their child first and sometimes that is by making the most difficult choice of all.. allowing someone else to raise their child.
ReplyDeleteHi - I saw your link from Kelly's Korner. I just wanted to comment to say that although I cannot imagine how difficult your choice was please know that, when my daughter's birth mother brought my hand over to take my daughters, my heart, while joyful, was also in pain for hers. I think of my child's birth mother often. I think of her on their birthdays and I think of her when special things happen all the while thanking her and hoping for only good things for her life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story! You have a beautiful son!
you are such a strong person and he is beautiful!
ReplyDeletehttp://arielle-ellesentries.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much for sharing. We are waiting to be matched and pray for a birthmother exactly like you.
ReplyDeleteYour story is so touching. I have a close friend who found herself in similar situation and chose abortion (before I knew her). The decision had haunted her for the past 20+ years. You choose life, and isn't it beautiful! WHat a beautiful voice for life you are! Like you said, no regrets ! God has an amazing plan!
ReplyDeleteYour story is so beautiful! I am just in awe of your courage and candor. I feel so honored to read this story. Thank you for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteKK
I recently gave up my little girl for adoption and I have found it to be the hardest thing in the world. Does it ever get easier? He is a very handsome little boy.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Always encouraging to see adoption from the "other" side (the one that not many people write from).
ReplyDeleteYou were a brave mom!Do you ever have any regrets,thinking about how you now have your other kids with you but not him?
ReplyDeleteNo I don't have any regrets. I made sure I knew he was going to the right family. And I knew one day I'd have kids, but later on when I had a husband and was ready financially, maturity-wise, etc. It has worked out how it was supposed to.
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