Saturday, April 24, 2021

The Days are long, but the Years are Short

 

14 years ago the hospital was sending me home with a brand new baby girl. At the time I couldn't believe they were trusting me with a brand new human being, seeing as how I was only barely 21 myself. In those days I looked ahead, and knowing I had at least 18 years with this child at home seemed daunting and stressful. Looking back now, the years seemed like just a blip of time. Everyone warned me how fast time would go, and they advised me to "enjoy the time while it lasts." I would just roll my eyes and nod. But now I know they were right. You can't truly understand until you experience motherhood yourself. 


As time went on and we added two more children, things only got more and more hectic. Some days I was just on survival mode. Actually, most days I was. I would count down the hours until Arnold got home from work every afternoon, especially on the nights I would go to a "moms night out" with my friends from a local moms group. Every part of me was exhausted. But I would go back to those times in a heartbeat if I could. I've come to the realization that in the early years of parenting you are physically tired, and in the later years you are emotionally tired. I would trade diapers and bottles over bullies and exams any day. I used to take care of all of their needs. Got to dress them in cute clothes, plan who they spent time with, and read them stories before bed. As time went on, they started becoming more independent, which is a little hard for a somewhat of a control freak. 


I know I have to let them grow and make their own choices, but it is hard. I want them to be around friends who are good influences on them. I want them to care about their grades and their futures. I want them to be all-around good people and kind to others. For the longest time I struggled with making them extensions of myself. If one of them failed at something, I felt like I had failed. But the truth is, our children are their own entities, and God made them to have their own unique personalities and strengths. I don't need them to like everything I do, or excel in things I want them to. If everyone was the same, life would not be very interesting. 


Having kids that are totally different than you can actually be an advantage. Brooke in particular is so NOT like me! She is social and outgoing, never met a stranger. She is a risk taker and will try just about anything once. She has taught me that life is too short to waste your time worrying and being afraid. Rachel is funny, unique and marches to the beat of her own drummer. She likes what she likes and doesn't care what other people think. She reminds me to stay true to yourself. Caleb is actually the most like me of all the kids. He truly cares about people and animals, likes to help others, and is a sensitive soul. He reminds me to always think of others first. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but it helps to get it out. 


I have had a hard time lately and been really emotional about the kids growing up. This past year we had to say goodbye to the elementary school all our kids attended. We'll never go to another book fair, school festival, or apple orchard field trip. Now we are dealing with college-prep classes, band concerts, and soon-to-be drivers ed. What will I do when I have to hand the keys to Brooke and watch her drive away? I don't even want to think about it! I actually have been mourning so many things that WERE, but I guess I need to remember that there are so many things TO COME. I look forward to seeing how Caleb handles high school. He decided to try JRROTC and I am so proud of him! I look forward to going to concerts and watching the girls play their trumpets. I look forward to watching Brooke try out for the cheer squad (which is actually coming up really soon!) I look forward to seeing who our kids become. 


There are already so many neat things I never thought about. Like how I have a buddy to go with whenever I want to get nails done or go shopping. How the kids and I can communicate throughout the day with texts and memes. How we sit around the dinner table at night and discuss current events and the kids can actually contribute to the conversation. It's crazy watching them become young adults. I feel like I just recently became a "real" adult myself. In a way, I grew up right alongside the kids. I am starting to see so many things my mom talked about, and YES she was right... I admit it! I obsess often about the kids' choices and decisions. I try to be open and share my life experiences with them so hopefully they wont make the same mistakes I did, but at the same time, I don't want them hearing about mistakes I made and thinking less of me. 


I see now why my parents were so hard on me, they just wanted me to be happy and successful. Looking back, theres plenty of things I wish I could change, but also I realize that everything that happened along the way made me who I am today. I can only hope that I'm doing a good enough job as a mom that my kids will feel like they can always come to me with anything, and I will always be there for them. People joke all the time about parents screwing their kids up. I really hope we don't screw ours up! Some days it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. Where do you draw the line on things? Do you get more strict or pick your battles? 


Thank goodness I have a great support system. A husband that is just as committed to these kids as I am. Friends who have my back and are always there to listen when I need to vent. A mom and dad who still give me advice when I'm lost and feel like a little girl all over again. And of course, the most important one is God. I know God trusted me with these kids and I may not be strong enough on my own to handle it all, but with him I can! I read in a book recently that you cannot control your kids. All you can do is raise them with good values, set a good example, lead them to God, and then turn them over to him. They are actually HIS, and are just our's to take care of for a short time. It's hard to remember that on tough days. But God is ultimately the one who will protect, guide, and support them throughout their lives, and we just have to make sure we are leading them to Him. 


No mom is perfect. I promise even the ones who look like they have it all together on instragram, don't. All moms have days where they yelled one too many times, ordered pizza for dinner, or didn't even get out of their pajamas. Just showing up is one of the greatest things you can do for your kids. They will look back and remember the times you talked to them and comforted them, not that pair of shoes you bought them or that amazing dinner you cooked them. I love the quote "Just the fact that you worry about being a good mom means you are one." Instead of being hard on each other and judging each other, lets be more supportive and helpful. In the mean time, I'll be over her crying in the corner about my youngest turning 12 in 2 months. (haha.) 

Monday, April 19, 2021

Nashville Vacation!

 

Arnold and I just got back from our anniversary vaction to Nashville! We had such a good time. Neither of us had been there before, and with Arnold being such a huge music/guitar fanatic, I knew it would be one of our vacation destinations. Even though it drove him crazy, I planned everything out, day by day, and bought most of our tickets to things ahead of time. But I think he'll agree that the trip went so much smoother that way! I am going to write more detailed about what we did each day, and add some tips about the area and what to do when there. A lot of you mentioned you were interested in visiting after seeing my pictures! I'm glad I inspired you! haha ;)



We planned on a 3 night trip away, just enough time to enjoy the area but not too long away from the kids/pets (the kids stayed with my parents.) So we left early Thursday morning. The GPS told us it would take 5 1/2 hours to get there. We showed up to our hotel around 2 pm (after the time change.) We checked into our hotel, then went to our first attraction we had tickets to, Madame Tussaeds Wax Museum. Now I know it is kind of tacky, but I had always wanted to go to one! Thankfully that afternoon it wasn't busy at all, and Arnold and I were able to browse around and see all the musicians. I knew they would be life-like, but I didn't know they'd be THAT life like. It actually really creeped me out/scared me at first. They looked so real, yet weren't moving or talking so it felt almost like dead bodies or a haunted house type thing. Eventually I got used to it and took some pictures with some of my favorites. I even "kissed" Luke Bryan on the cheek ;) (I didn't actually touch his cheek!) And Arnold HAD to get his pic with Reba and Carrie Underwood.. because well, look at them. Some girls who were in the museum at the same time as us and offered to take a picture of us. When we sat down on the bench with Ozzy, I had no idea he talked, and I jumped a foot into the air! The girls laughed at me and said they were glad it happened to me and not them! Anyway, after we were done there we went strolling around the Opry Mills Mall.. I didn't know the place was connected on to a huge mall. We stopped by the Rainforest Cafe, but it was still too early to eat, so we browsed the giftshop. Rachel is obsessed with frogs, so we were able to find her a big stuffed frog :) When it finally did get close to dinnertime, we decided to go downtown to the "Broadway" strip, which is one of the most famous parts of the city. The streets are FILLED with people, bars, restaurants, stores, and attractions. We had to find somewhere to park, and had no clue parking would be SO expensive on this trip! It cost us $25 just to park for a few hours. We walked down to Joe's Crab Shack! I had actually never been to one but I LOVE crab legs so I was excited. Arnold and I ordered the steampot for two, and it came with crab legs, lobster claws, shrimp, sausage, potatoes and corn. It was so delicious!! They had put a ton of seasoning on it, so our hands were covered and we had to go wash them at the end of the meal. But it was totally worth it! After dinner, we decided to walk down Broadway since we had paid so much for parking. Every place you walked by was either playing loud music or had a live band there. Arnold was really digging it, I could tell ;) We stopped into a bar called the Tin Roof. We found a seat and Arnold ordered beer... I didn't order anything because I don't drink anymore. We listened to the house band and they played mostly 90's music and took requests. I LOVE 90s MUSIC! I was having so much fun. Everyone was dancing and singing along and it was so loud and bright and not my usual choice of a night, but it was so much fun. After that, we decided to go back to the hotel. We watched a little but of tv before passing out. I had no idea we would get to pack so much into our first afternoon/night of being there!!






Friday morning we got up at 6:15 am (yes I am SHOCKED too! ;) and got ready, and stopped by a cracker barrel that was on the same road for breakfast. We had tickets to the Country Music Hall of Fame at 9am. Now this was the part of our trip that got interesting REALLY quickly. We found a place to park, then started the walk down the road to the museum. When we got there I realized Arnold had been leading us to the MUSICIANS hall of fame, which was a totally different museum! We had to turn around, walk ALL THE WAY across the strip again to get to the right place. We didn't get there til 9:30, we were hot and tired already and arguing. But as soon as we got inside, things calmed down. We did lose a little time in the musuem because we were late, but we still saw a lot. We got to see displays, guitars, outfits, and all kinds of stuff from country music legends from way back then all the way til now, and people like Kasey Musgraves. My favorite display was Dan and Shay ;) I am really loving them these days! At 10:30 we met downstairs with a group of people to go on the RCA Studios Tour. We had bought the package that included both activities. We all loaded onto a bus and they drove us out there. Our tour guide was amazing!!!! She was funny, kind, and told us all kinds of interesting facts about the place. She also asked a lot of questions.. and most of the time Arnold answered them! He was like a class pet that day... I married a musical genius! ;) Anyway, we got to tour the studio where SO MANY famous people recorded music. We even got to stand in the exact spot that Elvis stood when he recorded Heartbreak Hotel! And we got to see his piano. They had mostly all original stuff in the building, so it was a step back in time. The tour guide taught us a lot about Elvis... I've never been the hugest Elvis fan, but I'm a huge nerd and love to learn new trivia ;) I enjoyed it more than I thought I would!!! After we were done with that tour, we wanted to find lunch somewhere but everywhere was packed. So we drove on out to our next activity which was Cheekwood Botanical Gardens and Estate. Reminded me of an experience at the Biltmore House. We just bought the garden tickets, since we had a pretty full schedule. The place was BEAUTIFUL! My brother works in landscaping, and all I could think about is how much he would have loved the place :) The weather was perfect, and we walked along the paths and stopped to take pics of all the plants, trees, fountains, etc. And I know all of you loved the pic of Arnold with the turtle fountain. It took us so many tries to position him just right! ;) After we left the gardens, we were starving, so we went to a local Cheesecake Factory and had lunch. Arnold and I split a piece of the chocolate mousse cheesecake, and it was AMAZING! I don't think their food is anything special, but their cheesecake is totally worth it. After lunch we went to a few stores to pick up some things we needed, then back to the hotel to change. We drove back to Broadway that night, to meet up with our group going on the night time tour of Nashville. I am so glad I ended up buying the tickets to this, because it was amazing! One of my favorite parts of the trip. We loaded onto a big bus that had the windows off so you could really see out. Our tour guide was a little nerdy (but I LOVE that!) and he taught us lots of things along the way, and he even played the keyboard and sang songs while we rode along. When the sun went down we got to see the city all lit up and it was BEAUTIFUL! We drove by some famous spots like the Parthenon building and took pictures. Once again, this tour guide asked lots of questions and Arnold kept getting them right. The guy said well this man sure does know his music! Ya think?! Haha... Arnold sure did feel smart on this trip ;) Anyway, the tour lasted til 8:30, then they dropped us back off at the parking lot. Arnold and I had wanted to go to a nice dinner but we were exhausted, so we found a local papa johns and took pizza back to the hotel room.








Saturday morning we got up, got ready, and headed to our next activity, a tour of the Ryman auditorium. When I asked Arnold what was on the top of his list of things to see on this trip, this was it. This place is huge and some of the biggest musical acts in history have played there. Everyone from Eric Clapton to the Black Crowes to Dolly Parton to Cold play to Dave Matthews Band. They still have concerts there, and they sometimes host awards shows there. As a matter of fact, they held the Country music awards there this Sunday night! Anyway, they took us into a tiny theatre first for an information video about the history of the place. Even the video was cool! They had all the side walls made into theater screens also so it was a cool experience. The Ryman started out as a big church and they still have church like pews in there as the seating! We actually got to walk around and look at things, and Arnold sat in one of the pews. Then we got to walk down to the stage! Arnold actually got up on stage and we got one of those tacky souvenir pics of him up there, but it was so great, I loved seeing him so happy. He actually got kind of emotional in there, because he is so into music, concerts, and history. After the tour we went to the gift shop to buy him and his dad tshirts. We got out of the tour after 11 so we decided to walk down to the Hard Rock Cafe and have lunch. They had lots of musical memorabilia on the walls for Arnold to take pics of haha, and they had little tvs at all the tables, playing music videos you could watch during lunch. Arnold ate a steak and I had BBQ, and it was all delicious. The waiter was extremely friendly. This was actually one of the ways I was pleasantly surprised on the trip-- everyone in Nashville, from the waiters, to store clerks, to tour guides were SO friendly, funny and helpful. After lunch, we walked around Broadway for awhile again, and looked for souvenirs for the kids and our parents. The gift shops were small and CRAMPED so we were dying to finish up and get out of there! After shopping we headed back to our car and drove to the road near our hotel that had a few more attractions-- the Dukes of Hazzard Museum and the Willie Nelson museum. We walked around, took pics, and shopped the gift shops. I found a cute Nashville frame so I could frame one of our fave pics from the trip. Then we went back to our hotel, changed, and rested a little bit. I discovered Undercover Boss on tv, and now I want to watch all the seasons, lol. Before dinner we swung by the mall again because they had this HUGE candy shop we had seen, and we wanted to get the kids a few things. We found candy for all the kids, and then I saw the YELLOW BANANAS they have in Runts candy, you could buy just the bananas and so I got a bag. Then Arnold saw the jelly beans and we were doomed. I think he bought over a pound of them, haha. When the girl at the register said our total was $62 I about died. But to be fair, everything IS more expensive in Nashville! ;) For dinner that night I was feeling italian food, so we looked up Italian places in the area. We saw a place called Maggiano's and it got great reviews, so we drove out there. It ended up being a fancy place, and it was an hour wait. But by that time we were so tired we didn't really care-- we rested in our car for awhile. We weren't let in until around 8:30 pm. But the wait was worth it.. the food was amazing! Arnold got the chicken marsala and I got the lasagna. We also had Cesar salads and Arnold tried another IPA beer. At the end of it all we were pretty stuffed but Arnold wanted to try the cheesecake and so we got a piece. By the end of the night I was SO FULL I was almost in pain, haha. We didn't end up getting back to our hotel until after 10 pm that night. Another full day and another exhausting night :) 








Sadly Sunday morning we had to get up and pack our stuff. We were allowed to stay until 11 am but we wanted to get on the road before that, so we left around 9:30 am. We had to add in the hour also to get back to NC time. We ended up getting back to Hildebran around 4 pm and then drove over to mom and dad's to pick up the kids. Sheldon our dachshund had stayed with them too, and their new dachshund puppy Willow LOVED him, and wanted to follow him around everywhere, but Sheldon did not like that one bit :D I think he was happy to go home. We are so thankful Mom and Dad helped us with the kids and Sheldon, and our neighbor who helped us with our other pets. We were able to go on this trip and enjoy ourselves, and not worry too much about what was going on back at home. Brooke did keep up with me all weekend through texting ;) and I sent them tons of pics. Would i go back again? Maybe. But I'd like to try out some other places, too! Arnold and I were dreaming in the car of future trips, and I think one of our next trips will be to New Orleans! :)



A few tips/things we learned on this trip to help others--

1. Staying at a hotel in Nashville or nearby, but NOT right at the strip will save you both money and traffic issues. I really liked our hotel (The Hyatt Place) I got an amazing deal on it and it was very roomy and clean. The only thing I didn't like was the walls were pretty thin. We could hear doors slamming and hair dryers, etc. But otherwise we loved it!

2. Wear comfy shoes. You will WALK a LOT on this trip, believe me. Wear the good shoes. We walked so much that my apple watch was telling me each night that I'd hit all my rings everytime and one day it said I met 286% of my move goal for that day! 

3. Nashville is more for those 21 and up. I mean I know there are a few things around that kids could do, but its mostly geared towards adults. All the bars/music places card you to get in. There is loud music, drinking, party buses driving by, and an insane amount of people on the streets. It just seems safer/easier to make it an adults-only trip.

4. Buy tickets for MUST DO events ahead of time. I was able to buy tickets online before the trip. It saved us time and effort, and allowed us to plan our days out easier. We made sure to have the tickets before they sold out, and they were e-tickets, so I just pulled out my phone, the people at the front scanned it, and we were in. No waiting in ticket lines!

5. Take cash. A lot of the tours, bands, etc have tip jars/buckets and they are all so amazing that it is nice to leave a tip. All of them were so friendly and knowledgeable, and its nice to let them know you had a great time.

6. Plan things to do all together at once. We didn't know most parking places would be so expensive. They charge you by time usually so if you're doing things, try to plan things on the same day where you can park and walk to all them in one day, and not have to go back and park again another time. Some parking places have discounts if you get there extra early or go out late. 

7. The best time to go is Spring or Fall, not too hot and not too cold. You can dress in layers and if you get hot walking around a lot you're good, but if you get on a nigh time bus tour and its chilly, you can throw something on. I'm glad I packed some of both kinds of shirts.

8. All the attractions we visited were worth it. There were a few things we wanted to do but didn't get the time, but we heard they were amazing. That included seeing the Parthenon, the Musicians Hall of Fame, the Johnny Cash museum (we tried but it was too crowded!), Tootsie's Lounge (also too crowded!), and the Grand Ol Opry (they were closed that week.)

9. Pack lots of water. We were walking so much we were thirsty all the time. We kept several bottles in our trunk when we got back to the car, and several in our hotel. Oh they did have water available in the hotel.. $6 bottles of Evian! :D