How did you two meet? We met online. On Yahoo personals to be exact ;) I used to be embarrassed to admit that to people, but these days it's more common to meet online! I had just gotten out of a relationship and was looking for fun, casual dating, etc. Our first date was very awkward and I wasn't even sure if we'd see each other again. But we did.. and actually we ended up getting married just 4 months after meeting!
What things do you do to stay close? Let's see.. we try to go on a date night once a month. We have a few tv shows that we always watch together.. including Grey's Anatomy, The Good Doctor, and This is Us (I hooked him on that eventually!) We send each other quick texts or memes throughout the day. We do a marriage devotional together.
How are you alike? And different? We both have similar upbringings, our parents are still alive and married after 40+ years, and we both grew up going to church and being close to our families, etc. We of course share the same religious beliefs, and for the most part the same political beliefs. We like some of the same music and go to some concerts together.. but there is a lot we don't agree on either. He loves mostly all classic rock, and I love a way bigger variety. Arnold can talk to anyone, and I am way more introverted and shy. He hates to read and we all know I love that ;) We're both mostly homebodies and don't have to always be out doing something to be happy. Basically our differences just keep things interesting, so that's good :)
How do you split up chores in your house? We never really set things up or even really discussed them seriously.. certain things just sort of fell in place. Arnold handles the yard work (recently Caleb started helping) and I may be old-fashioned but I HATE yard work. He also does most of the work our pets, although the kids and I help with walking, bathing, etc. I usually am the one washing the dishes, changing bed sheets, cleaning bathrooms, picking up household clutter, etc. We both share the load of doing laundry, it's a lot with 5 people here! Arnold usually takes the trash out. I pick out all the gifts for family/friends and occasions. We both pay bills and handle financial responsibilities together. And we have discovered WALMART GROCERY PICKUP so that makes things 100x easier now, not wasting the time at the store!
How do you celebrate anniversaries? We do something every year, even if it's just going out for a nice dinner and a movie, or something similar. We usually do this with a night off from the kids (thanks Grandparents!) On special anniversaries like 5 year, 10 year, etc. we sometimes do a little more. For our 10-year anniversary we went away to Boone and stayed in a nice hotel. I joke and say arnold better take me on a cruise for our 20-year anniversary ;-)
What do you argue about most? Probably how we spend our time, and money. Sounds like most couples, right?! I have always been a little too clingy and quality time is my "Love Language" so we used to argue about how much time we should spend together. But I've realized time apart and with friends, etc is very important, too. Money-- mostly just how should we spend this, should you have spent that, etc. But it's not too bad, we're pretty open with each other.
How do you split up holidays between families? Thankfully both our families are close, so we don't have too many problems with this. Every Easter we have a lunch after church with my family and see Arnold's family later. At Thanksgiving we usually have a meal with my family. We spend Christmas EVE with Arnold's parents and usually Christmas DAY with my parents.
What was one of the hardest times in your marriage? A few times come to mind. When we were first starting out, had 3 very young kids, and I wasn't working outside the home. We had a strict budget, we were always tired and stressed. Another very hard time was when I was a medical complication after Rachel was born, spent over a week in the hospital, and Arnold had to juggle our 3 kids and work, and my mental health which went downhill very quickly.
Who is good cop/bad cop with the kids?? There are certain things we can both be strict/soft about, but I'd say Arnold is way better at being a disciplinarian. Most people can tell you I'm too soft. I do give rules and guidelines and expect certain things, but I am more likely to give in or reduce punishments probably. However, I'm probably stricter about a few things, like bedtimes, schedules, and what they eat.
What have you learned from marriage? Tips? Talk about everything. This sounds cliche but it is very true. Let them know how you're feeling, what you spend money on, what you're scared about, what your future goals are, and all of that. Don't expect the other to just KNOW what you want and need, you have to communicate it to them. They are not a mind reader. Take time for you two as a couple every once in awhile, even in busy seasons with kids. One day your kids will be gone and it'll just be the two of you. Invest in your relationship NOW and keep it fresh.
A few WHO IS THE questions...
Nightowl? Arnold
Sensitive One? Abby for sure
Worst Driver? Hmm.. Arnold would say Abby ;)
Risk Taker? More so Arnold
Handler of Finances? We share the responsibilities
One with the temper? Arnold
One who snores? Both of us!
Pickiest eater? Abby for sure
Big spender? Both at times
Jokey One? Arnold
Most Romantic? Abby (but Arnold has his moments :)
Planner? Abby
Outgoing one? Arnold
Artsy One? Arnold
Best secret keeper? Abby
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