My Book-Themed Bash for my 40th!

 I am finally getting around to writing about my party I had for my 40th. I decided to throw it late this year (July 12) since some important people were going to be out of town closer to my actual birthday. I went with a BOOK THEME... I'm so glad I decided to look it up, they actually had some stuff on amazon! Just not book balloons.. go figure? I was able to use the family life center at mom's church. That church Is so special to me.. where I grew up, was confirmed, got married, and now where dad rests (the columbarium.) Arnold helped me out a LOT and I really am thankful to him! I always get so excited when we do big parties, but then the day of its like I forgot how much work it really is and afterwards the cleaning up takes forever and you're just exhausted. But I can say this was quite a success. I invited a lot of people, since it was a big birthday.. and a lot showed up, about half.. I think it was the perfect number though, I think many more would have been too much! My boss from work even showed up which surprised me and made me feel really special! Ive always said my love language is quality time.. I know it's technically for romantic relationships but it works for friends, too. How do I know if you truly love me? You show up!!! For my happy times, my hard times, my crazy parties ;) Id rather have your time than any gift or anything else you'd give me. Anyway, we had the party at lunch, and we had Mexican food.. with lots of help from Brooke's boyfriend's family!!! Oh my goodness they made tortillas, pulled pork, Mexican rice, and even brought some special Mexican sodas and candy and stuff. Arnold made some beef and chicken in the crockpot and we got all the sides and sauces, etc. Id say everyone loved the food! It was a great idea!!! 

Best theme ever for me, right?! All from amazon! 

I used my own books at home to hold the centerpieces. Arnold and I made the confetti ourselves using old book pages and heart shaped punchers! It kinda hurt me to rip pages out of a book but it was a very old one I didn't care about anymore, haha. 

If you're around my age you get the banner. From the song ;) A lot of the older guests were like whattttt?

I loved my childhood table! stole a bunch of pics of little Abby from my mama and brought PJ and Keroppi along, and some framed pics I had up at home. I also "borrowed" these flowers from the church kitchen because they were pretty! haha! And those butterflies are suckers I made as favors. They didn't have any book themed chocolate molds so I went with something else cute! 

I hardly ever get to see all 3 of these friends in the same day! Ive known all of them forever and they mean so much to me! And doesn't Jess look amazing?! ;) 

Katie!! My 2nd mama! She means so much to me! 

My brothers family lives in Charleston so we don't get to see them often but they came up for my party!! It meant so much! They also took my nephews to Great Wolf Lodge that weekend and had a blast. 

Joannes family and Rosie.. Rosie and I go way back to working together 

Caleb and his friend 

My mom, Nancy, and a lot of Arnold's family! 

Brooke, Rach and David and his family!

Talk about a surprise! My friend Karen who lives in Raleigh came to see me! We were roommates for a year at Western Carolina! 

Still can't get over how great the day was and how much fun I had. People were so sweet with the gifts and cards they brought me, too. I ended up with some cool stuff like a flow art set, a personalized cup, candles, gift cards, and even my first designer purse! I am a spoiled girl! haha. The cleanup afterwards was brutal, Arnold and I had used a lot of the church's dishes for food prep and serving so we tag teamed and cleaned and dried them off in their big Industrial size sinks at the back! 

My 40th Birthday Recap & 5 Things I've Learned in my 40 Years

Tuesday I celebrated my 40th birthday! I still can't believe I am that old. We were off work the 3rd and 4th anyway, and I wanted to take my birthday off too, so I just saved my vacation time and took the whole week off. I had a great time, especially since Arnold took off work too, and the kids were home. 

Tuesday on my actual birthday, Brooke did my makeup. I don't usually wear a lot, but she made it look really pretty! We went downtown to do a photoshoot. It was SO hot and my hair hardly wouldn't hold its curl, and the wind was blowing which was messing with my balloons and hair, but we made it work. By the way, it cost over $8 just to get these few balloons blown up for the photos! Robbery! Helium is expensive now!! 

We wanted to incorporate two of my childhood items in one of the pics. I took Keroppi and PJ the bear with me. Keroppi is one of the Sanrio characters. While everyone else loved Hello Kitty, I loved that silly little frog the best! My mom got him for me when I was around 8, I think. His eyes are now a dingy brown and gross, but I just had to keep him! PJ (otherwise known as Parson JR, don't ask, I don't know!) was actually made for me by my grandma Mildred when I was a baby. He is so well loved that his mouth has completely rubbed off! He used to go with me everywhere and I used to dress him up in themed sweaters for the seasons and holidays. Anyway, Brooke told. me to look fondly at them or laugh at them and I love this picture!! 

We also had to make one of those silly childhood-like signs with your stats and favorites and stuff. I almost wrote down that I was 60 in instead of 70 but Rachel corrected me. Thank goodness someone in our family is good at math! hahaha! 

Isn't this picture so me?! I love nothing more than reading. 

On the weekend before, Mom took me out to lunch at Carrabbas to get lasagna. Every year it's been a tradition for her to cook me her famous homemade lasagna for my birthday, but it's getting tougher these days for her to cook, so we just went out.

We went to church and they had a backdrop up for 4th of July! They also gave out popsicles as everyone was leaving. One year they actually had fireworks! I love our church! 

Rachel is soo talented and artistic. She made me this birthday card! I love the colorful cake! 

She also drew lots of cute doodles inside and wrote me a sweet message! I wanted her to paint me a goose on a canvas which she did, but she asked me not to share it. But I love it!! 

The week before I left work everyone was so sweet... my friend Carries class made me drawings and cards, and she made this up that I hung outside my classroom. Some of the older kids made me cards, too. And they had a joint party at work for me, Lori and Jean, who are my birthday buddies! We had lots of yummy food and cake! I felt special!! 

We also did lots of other fun stuff over the week like went to the movies with Arnold to see Bride Hard.. it had Rebel Wilson in it and was a mix of comedy and action... was big time DUMB but it was entertaining enough. Weird to be at the movies on a weekday, didn't even have hardly anyone in the theater! Arnold also took me to my fave place-- Hobby Lobby! And I started buying stuff for my big party. Im having my party late this year, because some friends were out of town and I wanted them to be able to come. It is going to be book-themed (perfect!!) and we are having a big Mexican themed lunch! Thanks to Brookes boyfriend's mom and family, who so graciously offered to help with the food! They know how to party! 

Since its my birthday, I wanted to write something meaningful also... Ive done other things in the past like facts about me or things I love, etc. So this year I decided to do things I've learned in my life. 

1. No matter who the person is in your life, show them they are worth it to you. Be loyal. Be honest with them, even if it's tough. Show up for them when they need you. Celebrate the good times with them. Don't let too much time go by without checking in. My love language is quality time and how I feel loved the most is when people are there for me. just show up! I also love picking out gifts and surprises for people, even "just because" treats.

2. When it comes to marriage, love is not just a feeling, it is a VERB. You have to work hard in a marriage! Arnold and I have almost been married 20 years and there have been times we thought we wouldn't make it through, but we did. So many people think you just fall out of love but that's not true. You committ to a person, and you show up every day and put in the work. There will be days you don't even like each other, but you still respect each other and find a way to get through it. Running to another person will not fix it. No person will complete you and fill that space in your life, you have to love yourself first. 

3. Don't compare yourself to others. Ive spent so much time of my life wasted doing this! That person is prettier, or more successful or has more, or has it all together. No-- you be happy and content in what you have and learn to be thankful. Do I have the biggest house out there? No, but I own it and my husband bought it at a time where it was a steal and one day we'll have our mortgage paid off before a lot of other people. Did I have my kids too young? Probably, but I had lots more energy and time back them and we had a blast during those years. Now I'll be young enough to enjoy my grandkids. Is my job some fancy title? No but I work hard and am good at what I do. I love being around young children/babies and watching them grow and being a part of it. I love my coworkers and am thankful not to have to work on weekends.

4. LET THEM!!! I know this is based on a recent best-selling book, but it's true. Oh my goodness. I used to let every little thing upset me. And now I try my very best to say LET THEM!!! Someone was rude and cut me off on the road? Let them. Someone didn't like my Facebook post? Let them. Someone didn't point out my good job at work and compliment me? Let them. I can't control what others do and say (or don't!) but I can decide how I react to them. And half the time people are so absorbed with themselves that whatever it was didn't have anything to do with me anyway! Show people some grace!

5. Learn a little every day. I am a big nerd but I love learning! I don't care if it's reading a book article, watching a news clip, doing a devotional, or a trivia game... find a way to incorporate some learning into every day. Sometimes people ask me how I know so much random stuff or how I knew that word, and honestly it's usually because I read so much! 

Fathers Day 2023!

Arnold is such a good dad! He is always involved in the kids' lives and there for them.  

We decided to spend the day at Lake Lure beach. We thought it would be a fun thing to do with the kids, and a good place to remember dad. He took us to lake lure at least twice a year, every year since I was a baby. I love the mountains.. everything so beautiful there and it's so calm and restful. You can't beat the view! The weather was beautiful for us! It was hot, but not too bad. 

Last time we went up there Arnold had to carry in a big cooler-- we've since gotten one with wheels, which made it a whole lot easier this time! We packed stuff for a picnic lunch. 

I actually wore my bathing suit and went swimming in the lake! Most of you know that Im not a big swimmer ( I CAN, I just don't like to) and Im self conscious about wearing bathing suits, so it was a big deal for me. But lately I'm trying to do more, in honor of dad who used to give me the hardest time about never going swimming! And ill admit I did had FUN as soon as I got over the shockingly cold water, and the nastiness of the lake.. I did shower as soon as I walked in the door that evening, haha! 

Love my hubby! Glad we were able to pull off a fun day for him! 

Sisters!

The night before we went to the store and Rachel and I picked out floats to take with us. They even had a sale so we were lucky! She got one with flowers and I got one with pineapples. I took a sparkly pink float to the beach last year and loved it so I thought Id try it again. My arms were sore that night though after holding myself up in it all day!! I am not used to using those muscles and swimming, haha! 

I guess poor Arnold had to do some work on Fathers day! He blew up our floats for us! We are spoiled! :)

Brooke in her backwards cap and coke bottle.. haha

Caleb laid down and fell fast asleep... he took a nice nap... the girls were mean and took pictures of him asleep with his mouth wide open, but I didn't! 

Arnold put his hat over his face and decided to rest in the sun as well!

Brooke had bought a new outfit the past week and wanted to wear it.. and me to take a picture. She said the linen pants just felt "beachy" to her. That Girl loves to shop! 

I wore my dad bracelet which I've worn every day since my BFF Joanne got it for me! I'll admit the day was pretty tough now that dad is gone. I used to love spending the day with him and eating yummy food and letting him know how much we cared about him. Being in the mountains made me feel close to him, though. That was one of his favorite places to be, too. Rachel even remembered the funny jokes he used to pull on them, like telling them to watch out for the alligator in every body of water they were in.. even just regular swimming pools! We saw a few ducks that day also... dad had wooden ducks sitting on his shelves in his office at home. Little things here and there kept reminding me of him! I miss him so much, but I know he's having a blast in heaven! 

Rachel's 14-yr Interview & Birthday!

Shoe size- 7

Going into Grade: 9th (highschool!!)

Party theme this year: sharks
Gifts this year: clothes and makeup 

Favorite Color: red

Favorite Animal: cats/orcas

Favorite Food: shrimp

Favorite Drink: sweet tea

Favorite Snack- hot Cheetos

Favorite candy: twizzlers

Favorite Season: summer/fall

Favorite Holiday: Christmas

Favorite Restaurant: Shuckin Shack (too bad they closed!)

Favorite Fast Food- Chick Fila

Favorite Tv Show- The walking dead

Favorite Movie: The new Spiderman

Favorite Book- none (Breaks her mamas heart!)

Favorite Flower: lavender 

Favorite Thing to do: sleep.

 

Favorite Store: Ross

Favorite part of school: Science

Favorite Thing to Wear: Jackets 

Best Friend: Destiny, Shinbi, Hope, Maya, Cheyenne, Mackenzie, Kailey

What are you afraid of? bugs

What do you want to be when you grow up? A psychiatrist 

What do you want for Christmas this year? Money

Where do you want to go to college? Lenoir Rhyne 

Most excited about for high school? Football hames/marching band 

Rachel had a birthday dinner this year with some friends, her parents, grandparents, and sister. Unfortunately Caleb couldn't be there because he was at ROTC camp! We went to dinner at Red Lobster because her fave food in the whole world is shrimp!! 

She told me she liked sharks.. no idea why? LOL but she said she wanted something scary and I said um no! They only had kid looking stuff that I could find so we went with what we had! Haha.. the plates and balloon and table cloth all came from target. The cake was actually pretty cute with an ocean theme-- they had baby shark and we were going to switch it out with a "cooler" shark but didn't get around to it, so it was fine! The little sharks ended up being bath squirties and the waitress had mentioned her little daughter loved baby shark, so at the end of the evening I have her the toys for her daughter! Im glad someone could enjoy them! 

When we were standing outside after the party the string came loose from Rachel's arm and the balloon went floating away! :( Her friend got this picture.. and its called Samuel because in our family we always name stuff... don't ask why... lol.. but his name was Samuel the Shark! 

Sweet sisters!

So glad Grandma could make it, even if she hasn't been feeling the best!

We love our girl! Cannot believe she is 14!!

Rachel and some of her close friends that came to celebrate with her! 

One Whole Year

 Friday marks one year since the worst day of my life. I never thought I would get a phone call that day from my mom telling me that the paramedics were at their house doing CPR on dad. I remember standing in my driveway until Arnold came home from work to get me, and drove me over there. The whole way there I kept telling myself to have faith and that dad would be ok. When I got there we had to park far away since the firetruck and ambulance were in front of the house. I ran down the road and up to the guys standing at the ambulance. I told them I was the daughter and asked how dad was doing. I thought they would tell me they were working on him or getting ready to take him to the hospital. I never thought in a million years that the words out of his mouth would be "Im sorry for your loss." Those words felt like a sucker punch and to this day if I hear those words in my mind I am instantly transported back to that day and my stomach feels just the same-- like I was punched. 

Over the past year I have learned a whole lot about grief. I have been blessed to not have to experience a lot of big losses in my life thus far. My grandma who I was pretty close to died when I was 15 and that really hurt. But since then things have been pretty great... and Im sure I took having my parents around and closely for granted, although I didn't mean to. I remember joking with my dad just a few weeks before he passed.. he said he had read an article that stated since he had made it to 70, there was a great chance he would live a lot longer and we had plenty of time together. What a cruel joke then that he didn't even made it to his 71st birthday. I thought a lot about my parents getting older actually, in the past year or two. I would cry just imagining them gone from my life, and asked Arnold how I would ever go on while hurting so badly. After dad died I was sad, sure, but I was surprised how I ended up being so strong afterwards, especially the first few weeks. I was able to help mom plan a celebrating of life for dad, view his body and say one last goodbye at the funeral home, stand in the receiving line while dozens and dozens of people came by to hug me or offer their condolences. I think of him often but I never really broke down again after that one time. But this past week it's like something changed in me. I all of a sudden feel the finality of it all, and It set in that he's never coming back. He is not going to see my kids graduate. He's not going to see me reach all the goals I've made for myself. He's not going to be sitting in his recliner in the living room watching sports every time I go over to the house. I guess up until now it felt like he was on a business trip and it was sad he was gone but it wasn't forever. But now I actually feel the ache when I think about the fact that we'll never hug again, never share a joke through text, never go out to lunch at our favorite place. I think my mind was somehow protecting me this far, and I was unable to go to the deepest point of pain because I knew it would be too hard to handle.

Not everything after his loss has been a downer. Mom and I started going to a grief group at a church Arnold and I have been attending. It so happens it is run by my AWESOME KATIE!!! (2nd mama!!) and her husband Steve. We meet every Sunday from 2-4 and we talk to the others in the group, share our feelings, watch videos about how to deal with certain aspects of grief, and we have workbooks to do "homework" that week. I have really come to love and care for these people in my group. I listen to their stories and cry along with them, feel safe sharing about dad, and even though our class is over mid-April, I know a lot of us will keep in touch even after that fact. I have learned some really useful things in the class, and even if I didn't, it's still worth it to me going so I can support mom. Now all I do is worry about mom and her well-being. As much as I hurt, I can't imagine what she went through. Her and my dad were married almost 50 years. They were in love since they were so young. She's now living alone in that big house I grew up in, and thinking of her there and lonely just makes my heart ache. I have done everything I can to try and help her and make this past year easier. We have started going to eat lunch with her every Sunday afternoon. She helps me out by picking up the kids at school and gets her time with them. We try to take her places and involve her in things. All this happening has made me think even more about the future and what it'll be like when I lose her, and I've told her this. To be completely honest, I am terrified. I knew I'd lose my parents oneway, but never expected to lose dad so young, so now I am extra cautious about mom. I want to spend all the time with her I can and not take anything for granted.

There are things about dad I miss so much. I miss his cooking and his famous "crap in a pot." I miss sitting beside him in church on Christmas Eve during the candlelight service. I miss going on trips to lake lure every spring and fall. I miss texting him before Super Bowl and asking him which team I should pull for since I know he knows his stuff. I miss sharing all my achievements with him and making him proud, even as an adult. I miss joking around about who read more books that year, me or him. I miss him calling me Abigail (my realname). He's the only person I'd let call me that. He taught me so much growing up, to work hard, give generously, work at your marriage and don't give up easily. To treat everyone with respect even if they have less than you. To joke around and not always take life so seriously. I know not everyone grows up with a dad that is present and loving, and I know how incredibly blessed I am. Now that I don't have him anymore, I realize even more just how much I had in my life. 

So coming up on the one year anniversary of dad going to heaven-- I'd say we're doing ok. Things will never be the same, but we will have a new normal. Mom finally went through dad's things and decided what to keep and what to give away. Every time I go to their house I sneak away for a minute to sniff some of dad's cologne. I have one of dad's quilts at home now that I intend to keep forever. It was the one he had draped over him actually, the day he died. I also have one of his most-worn t-shirts in my closet. I am glad we have these things to remember him by. But I know the most important things aren't material, they are memories we can hold in our heart. I have been seeing dad a lot in my dreams lately. He is always just hanging around and he looks a bit younger. I welcome any dreams I get of him, it helps things feel just a tad bit more normal. To help me through the tough times I like to imagine him in Heaven with God, and know he has NO MORE PAIN!!! Before his back surgery he was suffering so badly. We went out to lunch just a week before his surgery and when he was ready to get up from the table and leave he apologized to me, that he was taking so long, and that it was hard for him to get up. That broke me. It is so hard to see the dad you grew up with, your hero, the man who played football and gold and mowed the yard and traveled to other countries and helped run a company... barely able to walk. In my selfish human nature I want him back here! Definitely! But I know that he is in the best possible place and because of my beliefs I know that I will see him again one day. I am so excited for that day. 

Life so far in 2023!

I finally got my new car!!!! Brooke is getting her license... she was supposed to already have it by now but she hasn't had her permit a whole year yet. Anyway, she is going to take my car... so I needed a new one. We have been looking for awhile. My dream car was always a Cadillac SUV but I didn't think I could really afford one. But one day online I saw an ad for one locally and though it was 2018 and had some miles on it it was SO nice and black which is the color I wanted... so I asked Arnold if we could go look at it and we ended up buying in that night! Having better credit scores now and putting a decent down payment on it made our payments pretty affordable! I am loving it so far! I didn't even know at first but there's perks like a sunroof, heated seats and steering wheel, backup camera, and they gave us a free month of SIRIUS radio which I'm loving because Ive been having my own personal Dave Matthews concerts every day on the way to work ;) 

I don't see how it's even possible but we just registered Rachel for high school!!!!! She will be headed to the same school as her brother and sister in the fall. They will all be together for one year, which I love!!! We went to a meeting/orientation the other night and Brooke showed Rachel and her friend around the School. Rachel has decided what classes she's going to be in and she is joining the marching band. I can't believe it is time for this!!! This fall is going to be very emotional for me! A freshman AND a senior!!

Grandpa turned 91!!!! This pic was actually from last year. Mom took him out to eat to a nice place on his birthday. 

I order cute, quirky seasonal shirts on Jane.com and this is my newest one! The shirt turned out a bit bluer than green than I had hoped but it's still cute! 

Arnold and I went to the movies to see Jesus Revolution!!! It was so good! It was based on a true story and I learned a lot. Several parts of it were very moving. Kelsey Grammar was in it (from Frasier- love him!) and the guy that plays Jesus in a current TV show. Id recommend the movie to everyone! 

Mom has been the greatest and has been picking up the kids for me throughout the week while we're waiting for Brooke to get her license. Sometimes they go and get treats.. they love going to the B&B to get tater wedges and ice cream! 

Caleb got his permit!!! He has been getting lots of driving practice in lately. 

On valentines day Arnold surprised me with pretty tulips! 

Back at the Super Bowl we were so excited because the Chiefs played!!! Most of you know but my dad loved that team-- he traveled a lot for work and did a lot of work in Kansas City. The team even sent us a big beautiful floral arrangement after he passed away. So of course we were rooting for them!! We let the kids have a little party at our house and decorated in their colors and got lots of food to eat, and watched the game. It was pretty close there at the end but they did it!!! I went to bed very happy!!!!

Arnold and I Celebrated our 17 year anniversary!!! 17 years is technically the year for furniture as the gift but Arnold said umm not this year! lol. We hope to go away on a cruise for our 20-year anniversary! He did surprise me with some Stephen Curtis Chapman tickets and we are going to the concert March 23!

My uncle sadly passed away on our anniversary. The funeral wasn't planned until a few weeks later. We went up to Asheville. It was nice seeing my family and my brother who I don't get to see that often. Since it was on a weekend Arnold and I decided to stay overnight and have an early Valentine's Day. We went to dinner at Carrabbas and a little local shopping and had a great time! 

Brooke had her last game of the season! She has loved getting to fly! Next month is tryouts and she is hoping so badly to make it on the varsity team.

Arnold has definitely gotten used to having a wife and 2 teen girls who love to shop! This was from a day of shopping at the mall.. he was a good sport ;) 

We found Brooke's prom dress!!!! No details yet, it'll be a surprise, but it is beautiful!!!! This year will be her first time attending a prom. I'm excited to see her all dressed up. 

I got to babysit my sweet Ensley one day when Joanne had plans! I of course read lot of books to her! ;)

Rachel made the honor roll last time they got report cards!!! She's done really well this year!! 

Arnold and the guys had a show at a new place... a sports bar in Morganton. It was a nice enough place I guess, but loud bars aren't really my jam!!! I don't even drink and I get too nervous in big crowds. But Arnold did great and I enjoyed watching. I got to hang out with his cousin Beth and her husband.. and before the show I went to dinner with my friend Chasity, and a good friend of hers named Ashley. We went to a BBQ place I'd never been to before.